This is pointless

I'm so sick of my fucking life.



I hate this.

Back again

I spent ages (roughly an hour) writing a post that reigned supreme.



And now it's gone.



Grah.

Ok

So I did something clever with my time. I learnt how to enter the correct time zone in this blog.


London, UK. FUCK THAT, I LIVE IN ENGLAND!

Meh. Weird mood. Getting silly. Want alcohol.


*sniff*

Pissed Off.

Fuck those fucking stupid cunts. They're all so stupid, so eternally clever. Fuck them! I FUCKING HATE THEM! Stupid fucking cunts.

Is it me or them? Was it my fault or theirs? Or both?

Fucking hell. Why do I always have to do this???

FUCK HIM. FUCK FUCK FUCK HIM!

See, THIS is why I told myself "No more relationships. Ever!" and now look what's happened. Stupid boy. If he hadn't gone and messed up my life like this then everything would be alright!

Ok, so I'm exaggerating. BUT FUCKING HELL. GRAAAAAAAAWEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRWE!

TV Icons

Okay, so there's some orange bitch on the TV, yapping about buget holidays and the fashion industries.

Now I remember why I DON'T WATCH TV.

The McCannes were coming back to Britain and Sky News had reporters waiting to accost the plane they were travelling on. And I was just thinking, is this really nessersary?

Everyone's nosey. Everyone's biased. If Madeline wasn't a pretty blonde, or the parents young, healthy caucasians then who would really give a shit? Not the media, that's for sure.

"We brits love our meat" wtf? Oh, and now they're playing music from The Matrix Reloaded. On a food programme. Is there anyone else who thinks this is just wrong? And anyway, I hate meat. Chicken's all right, but everything else...I really can't be arsed eating it.

I can't be arsed with food in general lately. Ever since being very ill in the summer I just haven't recaptured my appetite. Which is good, I guess - I've gone down to 10 stone. I'd still like to loose more, though. But if I think about it, I'll never loose it >_<

Argh.

The iron keeps on behaving very strangely and firing out sporadic short bursts of steam. I'm sure it's not supposed to do that. Oh well.

Anyways, it appears to be official: Gerard Way is now married! Lol. Thank God Eliza's out of the picture. I don't understand the thinking behind shotgun weddings, though - surely the whole point of getting married is to dress up and have a big day?

Lol I guess it's just as well I'm not ready to be married yet. I've probably missed the point completely. And after witnessing a marriage collapse as spectacually as my parents', then I don't think I ever will.

Hmmmmmm.

I'm meeting Mattman at 3. It's funny, he's like a gay best friend who's straight - I think the only male friend I actually have without an underlying sense of sexual tension. With that out of the way, it's good to just sit and talk, friends.

I had better go and get dressed. I'm still wearing PJs. I haven't taken them off for more than 24 hours now. Disgusting? Maybe, but ever so convinient.

And comfortable :)

Miracle Cure

So this be mine new blog.
Ooh, nice font!

Lol.

Okay, so I've had a blog before, on Tabulas. It didn't work out. Granted, I was, like, 14 and most of my posts were attention-seeking ramblings about self-harm and drunken sprees. That, or quiz results.

Now, at the sober age of almost 18, I can look down at my previous self. And slap the 21-year-old who is waiting to do the exact same thing.

Anyways, I already have a blog on myspace. I use it occasionally. Not really, a lot, though, because having a "real" blog on Myspace is like laughing at a joke no-one else finds funny. In a high school cafeteria.

Ah, it's so good to be able to use my Americanisms again without having some skinhead punk come up to me and slag me off for being "too American".

Haha.

It's so silly. I'm not one or the other. I'm not anything but me.

Hm. I'll post again when I have something to say.

Another day....

Ok, so it's 3:45 PM and I'm still wearing PJs. The ones I was wearing last night, yes.

And I'm pissed off. Chris has cancelled and is behaving very coldly. Kieran also drunkenly confessed. Not my ex, a different Kieran. Now both he and Ian are embarressedly ignoring me.

Ah, sometimes you've just got to laugh at people. Their natural impulses are so lame. But as both dual animal and spirit, how are we supposed to get rid of the base element without denying our own true nature?

Bottom line is, we're meant to be flawed.

So where's the humour in that? I guess it exists only in my need to pass off hurt and "walk it off", so to speak.

My plans for today? Having spent the entire morning online, I now intend to do something with my life and...sing all afternoon. My voice has been sounding a little harsh lately and I'm a bit worried about it - I haven't had a chance to sing a lot this last week, what with college starting and work and German worries consuming my life.

O_o

I should really try to write something, but writer's block is still reigning supreme. Oh, yay. lol. Or I could watch that DVD I got on Tuesday, "Blood and Chocolate" - it looks like the most amazing crap ever, but I liked the title. And since "Ginger Snaps", if it's got females, and werewolves, then....I gotta see it.

My life is really dragging on. Day after pointless day. No love. No friends. No nothing.

I'm not really feeling that bad, though - I've got over that stage. And being muleishly determined to BE HAPPY does count for something.

I miss Maria. I can't wait for the day when we'll be together. One day, I will make all (or at least the vast majority of) my dreams come true.

I am determined.